I have never ever in my life ever taken an immune booster injection or anti-flu thingi majiggi and so it was to my horror when Superjerm brought home a Beriglobin injection for me. Even more terrifying was the big bubble wrapped envelope it came in, complete with its own frikkin ice-pack. Yes, its own frikkin ice-pack! That only happens in futuristic movies man. Hugging my lounge cushion makes the Vit B12 injections almost bearable but now I would have to have this in the hind quarter of my arse whilst standing! No cuzzi the cushion.

Me: “Why the frik do I need this?”

Superjerm: “Its an immune booster, we don’t want to have all that training go down the drain if one of us gets sick”

In my head: Ugggh, the voice of reason. Hang on, usually I am the voice of reason. What is happening here?

Me: “Are you sure I need it?”

Superjerm: “Yes, now just suck it up!” Well he didn’t say that, I just thought it sounded good.

Now B12 injections are about 3ml but Beri-frikking-Globin is 5ml and it’s thicker in consistency so it doesn’t go in as fast, plus, the needle has to go in the whole way to get through the layer of adipose tissue (sound so much better than saying “fat”) to its final destination in the muscle. And you have to stand, not sit, whilst this mother of a needle drops in at the arse end of the world (hee hee, arse end, sorry couldn’t help it).

I nearly fainted. Luckily, (because I am such a bright girl and everything) I saw it coming, everything started going blotchy. Mayday mayday, I’m going down. I dashed to the bed and waited for my eyesight to come back. Superjerm thought he’d hit a nerve or something, poor thing was hovering over me like a doctor in distress. It wasn’t actually that sore, not nearly as sore as a B12 in the leg so who knows why my lights went out.

After hours of packing and organising, I can safely say that I am all packed and ready to go. I wanted to make a special label for my bag just to let the airport officials know how much I appreciate them but on second thoughts I realised it might draw more attention. It was going to look like this:

pick-this-lock-label