My husband is crazy. He’s going through a definite delusional patch. I would be more descriptive but I can’t find the adjectives. Let me do a day-by-day run down.

Saturday:

We finish ABSA Cape Epic. 8 days of gruelling riding. We trained for 9 months. Nine, nege, neuf, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 months!

Sunday

  • Wake-up, pack bags, scoff food down. Collect bike bags from Cape Town B&B, pack bikes into boxes…I’ll save you the detail…we did admin
  • Wait around at airport
  • Spot guys wearing their mustard Cape Epic finishers t-shirts. Dorky but cute.
  • Devour bar of Toblerone
  • Kulula flight is delayed. Wow what a surprise!
  • Cringe whilst listening to cheesy Kulula jokes
  • Nudge the stranger next to me. His chubby arms are on my side of the arm rests and I’m starting to feel claustrophobic. This is my side and that is your side buddy, see.
  • Start dozing off, keeping one eye on the drinks trolley. Need water.
  • Crash out for 2 hours
  • Collect baggage & drive home. Intermittent outbursts of “Put your handz up in za aire” song although not with the same vigour as usual. Too tired.
  • Make happy, baby-like cooey noises when we reunite with our felines Frank and George. “Helllllloooo my boooooys, aaah yes, hellllllloooo my precious little things, we missed youuuuu”.
  • Brother has left big, dark chocolate cake for us (with lots of icing). Scoff down with 5 Roses tea.
  • Husbands loopy, delusional phase begins: Go to Woolies – need healthy food. Waiting in line, CamelToe comes up to me and says “Hey there is a race this weekend in Baynesfield, you wanna do it?”. The expression on my face says WTF? – “uhhhh, let me think about it, uhhhh, NO!”
  • Haven’t you had enough of mountain biking yet for crying in a proverbial bucket!
  • Eat
  • Bed
  • Both wake up at 2am. Wide awake. Hunger pains. Scoff Cake.Chat.

Monday:

Husbands loopy, delusional phase continues:

CamelToe mistakes the delusions for PJD – Post Jol Depression.

So…..he starts thinking about the next event he can do. He doesn’t think little 40km event here, 80km event there. No nee no no.

“Hey do you wanna do the TransAlps in July.” He says out of the blue.

“Uhhh, that one with almost 3000m climbing a day…uhhh, let me think about it, uhhh, NO!”

My WTF? facial expression follows

“Maybe I’ll do it with Pieter (our Austrian mate) then”

“Good idea hun!”

Camel sms’s Pieter his Austrian mate.

Austrian mate is keen but entries have closed.

Austrian mate pulls some strings.

They’re in.

The face of delusion..my man

camel-toe-delusional